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Originally Posted by Jensitive22
Does anybody else on this forum struggle with intimacy issues? *snip* I don't know how much of it is biological and how much of it is emotional.
My husband is 64 years old and struggles with E.D., **snip**It triggers depression and self-hatred for days. In fact, it just happened a couple of days ago, and I feel like ****. He's always sorry afterwards, but he just doesn't get why this hurts me so much.
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I snipped a lot of what you wrote and left a few key sentences.
I think we all struggle with intimacy issues.... even "normal" people do. Some of it is biological and some of it is related to being bipolar.
From what you wrote, you have your issues, sure enough -- and your husband has HIS issues, too. Is HE initiating sex? Is he romancing you at all, trying at all, being loving at all? If not, then he's not meeting you halfway and is expecting you to do all of the work, and that's something you need to go to couples counseling for.
In my marriage, sex was gangbusters at the beginning and now hubby prefers if I initiate so he gets to say "no" or "I'm tired," which is a load of rot and puts the blame on me if things don't go well. We are working this out and I think from what you said you may be in a similar stuck place. Men love to be pursued, but women love to be chased too.
Having a mental illness doesn't always mean the problems are all ours all of the time. Honest!