alex, some of the first work I did in therapy with my current T was trauma work. We used EMDR, and it was very helpful to me. I needed to work through some past trauma in order to be able to move forward with problems in my present life. I know there are lots of approaches to trauma, but have you considered EMDR? It is known for being efficient and fast, and perhaps less traumatic itself than "reliving" strategies.
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i function better when i have a good therapy relationship. that isn't unusual, i guess.
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I do too. I am depressed today, woke up with the cloud on me, felt it coming last night. I hate that. I am due to see T today for the first time in 2 weeks, but I don't even want to go. I hate going there under a cloud. On the other hand, I may feel better if I go. The relationship really does help me. What a strange thing to offer clients to make them feel better--a relationship. It's so amorphous.
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people who make them feel cared about etc. someone who they can talk to about what is going on for them. the difficulty with me is that i simply can't get that (in the depth that is needed) outside therapy. because... my need is too great. if i try and get that outside therapy i end up with either someone taking a real parent role with me (which isn't so healthy really) or i end up with someone who is similar to me and we end up clinging to each other (which isn't so healthy really). so... no can do in the real world.
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This sounds like an important thing to target in therapy. You said your T wanted you choose something to work on. How about this?
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some people spend a fortune on therapy. i know some professional people who spend most of their salary on their therapist. they are pleased with their therapists, that is true. they are doing some great work, that is true. they have husbands to support them and their family financially, however.
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I can relate to this. I have been going to see my current therapist for 10 months. He is not cheap and my insurance won't pay for him. I struggle sometimes with what an indulgence therapy is, and I try to keep myself from adding up what I have paid him in the last 10 months. I know it has helped me in many ways, such as moving on with my divorce, which I was profoundly stuck on, and improving my relationships, not to mention the depth work we did, which I found hugely satisfying. Although I work, I know that it is being in a financially secure marriage which allows me to spend so much on therapy. When I am divorced, I don't think I will be able to justify taking the money away from supporting my kids. Am I gonna tell my girls, sorry there is no money for college because mama did therapy? Nope. Priorities.
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i figure there has to be some kind of balance or middle way between exploratory and supportive therapy
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To understand this, I needed to know exactly what supportive therapy is, so I found this definition:
"supportive therapy remains closer to the surface of the patient's issues. Supportive therapy is an approach that is used to relieve immediate distress; to return the person to his or her previous level of functioning; and to strengthen adaptive ways of coping that the individual already possesses in order to prevent further discomfort."
Supportive therapy sounds like what I did pretty much exclusively with my first counselor, who used a CBT approach. This approach did help stabilize me but did not help me move forward or rid me of my depression, although it helped me with some of the symptoms. When I moved on to my current T, I was stable and ready for depth work. We plunged right in. And my depression completely went away. But even though we did depth work, I did (and do) get a lot of support from him too. Our relationship supports me. Now we are doing a lot of nuts and bolts type stuff, so I guess we are back to supportive? But we aren't scared to pepper our sessions with less surface stuff if it comes up. Anyway, I think therapy can definitely be a mix of the two.
alex, I would be interested to know what type of approach your T would like to use in trauma work with you.