hi Jadenmia1

I can understand difficulty in talking about how you really feel. That stuff is very personal and difficult to come out with. One way would be to simply write it out on the computer print it and hand it to the Dr. he would probably give you a referral to a therapist. They do really need to know how you feel so that they can give you the proper medication and treatment
I think many of us have felt we wanted to die at times when depression has been really bad. However, you have your children to think of and their lives would be totally devastated if you did not go on.
I am sorry that therapy did not do much for you. But that could be because the therapist was not really good. CBT is quite good for dealing with social anxiety and depression. And you could Google one of their therapists for the area where you live. There are also. Acceptance and commitment therapists, which are very good and it is the therapy. I use.
I do understand reluctance to use medication especially if it had not worked before. But finding the right medication is very often a matter of trial and error till the right one is identified.
CBT does have self-help literature on managing depression and social anxiety which should be available from the public library health section or from Amazon. As is acceptance and commitment therapy. You can always program yourself to use the skills to control anxiety and depression.
Then there is Nami the organization for the mentally ill. You can Google, and them and phone them and find out what services they have available where you live. They do run peer to peer support groups. Then there is the WRAP program, which is the wellness recovery action plan run be most states. It is an eight week two hour session course enabling people to formulate their own program for staying well. But this and the support groups would enable you to meet up with fellow sufferers, which would make it easier from the point of view of social anxiety. Since we are all in the same boat. I really hope and pray everything does improve for you. Have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis