I know this is a personal question and specific to each relationship. My bf and I are similar in that we always had friends of opposite sex throughout our youth and college years. I was even close with a guy when i met my ex-husband, but as time went by, I lost touch and had similar circle with my ex-H (then husband) which were male and female, but it was a mutual circle.

Fast forward divorce, friends having kids, evolving with life.. add in my new BF, both in our 30s, no kids. He left most of his female friends behind in his country (he is not from US). He has held my hand throughout this whole mess of me dealing with my mental illness. I just miss the platonic male friendship lately. My girlfriends are great- but they are all having a family, hardly ever available! and I can not really relate. It seems much of the time it makes me feel a bit like an outsider- and that something is wrong w/ me.. I mean EVERYONE is having kids that i know. my sister, my best friend is on her 3rd (she is younger then me!) *this is all a topic for another post* but sometimes i want to go to a bar, or coffee or whatever with someone more relate-able..

The kicker is: when BF and I met- he claimed that guys and girls can not be 'just friends'.. that as long as the female end does not pursue or hint at more, nothing will happen..., but the male side will want it- and fantasize about it. I think I understand his concern, maybe it was cute to see his possessive side a little bit (after a marriage of hell). He showed me youtube videos of college polls, he tried to be cool about it. but i sensed he was trying to control me a tad or afraid of losing me (his history explains all of that insecurity). I forgive him for that.... or perhaps he is even guilty or knows what happens in a guys mind simply b/c he is one. (guys - thoughts? )

Here is where I feel things are hypocritical: My bf will visit his friends rarely (maybe once a year at most,) but he will gather with all his female friends, where he is the only guy. He told me he probably had 'something' with most/all of them at some point! (jokingly.. but we are very open about our past and i am no saint). I was really jealous, insecure (this is pre- Dx) it was embarrassing how later in a drunk/jealous rage: i freaked out completely -- Ugh! truth was exposed.

He still has female co workers that he has lunch with. Casual friends, whom i met and def dont feel a threat. But, one time he got together w/ a old intern friend (female) visiting for a drink ('networking') and also, it triggered me so bad, I had complete breakdown, freaked on him, feeling so jealous (again, prior to Dx).... He also is a really handsome guy, tall and model face. He is very sweet to me, he calls me lovely things and we have a very intense affection, I am not lacking in the attraction area in the least- no one compares, and from what he says, it is mutual

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Present day: We are legal domestic partners, and we plan a future together. We have both grown very much more in love. I have seen him deal with me at my absolute worst! He is here, standing by me each step- even when he had every right to walk away. Lately however, I feel I need a bit more of a support circle. Yes, i have my family, and friends- but i am wondering if it is ok to reach out to some male friends too. And not always dump my worries on one person..

I also dont think it is fair that i completely give up on having male friends. I have a guy friend in mind now.. I want to hang out with him, He knows i have serious RL, and even be open to meet my BF.. things started off weird w/ that friend, but i made it CLEAR of my intentions to be just friends. And have put him off for a year+ b/c of that fear.

I would like to get a guys perspective on life, brotherly / friendship. I have a closeness to both my bros, who are away at college now... i feel a void. My Ex-Husband and I used to be friends up until last year, when I cut him off which was SO hard for me.

Is this a mistake or do I deserve to be trusted with male friends? Do guys only want that one thing afterall, and will hope and want more one day? Is it possible to have just a friendship with a guy, when you had something or even just a fling togeher? I feel like guys, in general, are much less DRAMA. which is appealing to me!

thanks for input.