Look at it this way. Even transgenders have to go through extensive therapy before they are allowed to undergo life-altering surgery. I had a friend who became a man, and she had to get surgery before they let him be what he felt was best for him. Get yourself some therapy to figure out if surgery really is the only option for you. If it is, then you can get the support of a therapist in finding a doctor who will help you with your surgery. Then no one can say you didn't try to get therapy first. In the meantime, maybe you can take steps to make yourself feel pretty. Buy yourself some flowers to put around the house because it makes you smile. Give yourself insanely luxurious bubble baths or whatever else makes you happy. Do some nice things for you, since you feel like you aren't getting the affection you desire from other people. Sometimes self-love can be hard, but sometimes when you are in a bad place, it's the only kind of love that you can truly rely on.

Also, maybe stop watching the Kardashians or looking at beauty magazines. The simple fact of the matter is, they're trying to sell you something and they can't sell you anything until they have you convinced that you're missing something. They have to tear you down first, and then they offer you the solution to your problem. If you were pretty, then all you'd have is a new set of problems, and the media would make sure you're aware of that.

I think there's a good TED talk video on youtube about the Stockholme syndrome involved in advertising. You'll have to look it up, but it does a good job of explaining why media actually subtly tears you down in order to sell you things to build you back up and then make you feel grateful for the nonsense they've just sold you. I'd watch out about opening up to harmful messages when this is something that you are struggling with.