I'm not sure I can add anything to Rapunzel's post...just wanted you to know I read your post...It is hard to see this all...In the present trying to figure it out and for the future what things you can do now to align with how to get there.

In high school I played many roles...Mostly the achiever, played football for awhile, then started with hanging with the crowd that smoked...yea we could actually smoke outside the school building...