Darling T,

Last session I wanted to climb onto the floor and put my head in your lap and cry. I fought the urge. It was tough. I still think about those feelings and how I felt.

Does it bother you? Do I frustrate you with the thousand times I tell you that I think you're annoyed or upset at me? You always reassure me that you aren't but after so many times of someone telling you how they think you feel, it would get old. Yet, I keep asking. I keep doubting. I know you are though I just can't feel it. Why can't I feel it?

You said you kept me on as a client. Does that mean you were thinking about getting rid of me? I'm reading too much into things. I hate my mind. I don't understand it. Do you really want to pass me along but due to ethics you can't terminate me because you know it would be a disaster for me and you are a stickler for your ethics (thank you for that by the way) or do you really care and want me to know that no matter how much work I see myself as you will be there, you have chosen to stay with me.

Remember how I said I share everything I write here with you? I'm not sharing any of this.

I can't.

I miss you.

BW,

~EM

PS: I saw you wipe away tears last session. You did it discreetly. You did it quietly. I saw it.