I am wondering if anyone else has similar, emotional struggles with their PTSD when it comes to the arena of dating?

I haven't been on a date in a decade.
I was raped by a male physician from ages 3-10 years old.
When I was thirteen years old--I began having Holocaust nightmares.
They have continued for over 30 years. In many of them I am being
raped by Third Reich officers as a young teenager. Or, am watching
them do this to others.

After my 2nd marriage failed a decade ago--I never went on a date again after I got divorced. Every time I try to be with someone in an intimate relationship--I end up having flashbacks of being raped. They turn into the male physician or the Third Reich officer. It isn't their fault. However, when this happens--I end the relationship. I don't want to be with them any longer.

I have spent the majority of my life (when asleep) trying to survive the Holocaust. It has impacted my life so much--that I am actually traveling to Israel this year for a Master's Degree in Holocaust Education.

My therapist said--that in order for me to have a healthy relationship with another--that they need to attend therapy sessions with me to better understand my PTSD.

THIS is where I crumble.
Does anyone else feel this way?
I feel like I simply have TOO MUCH baggage.

If I were the opposite sex-looking for someone to date?
I would NOT date me!

--Who wants to meet someone new--and then be told their partner is so messed up-- that they need to attend therapy sessions with them-- to better understand why...

It saddens me so much to know that there are predators out there who rape little girls. I was one of their victims. But, I am being honest when I say--that experience of getting raped for 7 years as a child? It just destroyed any average aspect of me being intimate with anyone ever--in any normal sort of way.

It overwhelms me. And, to dump all of that baggage onto someone else--in the form of my PTSD? It's heart breaking.
I don't feel like I have the emotional, mental or physical skills that are required to maintain a relationship. I get very lonely. But, I don't have any "normal point" in my life to revert back to. I was 3 years old when it began. And, it's my first, full memory.

Does anyone else feel like there is just too much emotional baggage that is attached to their PTSD?