After being diagnosed with depression and put on middling doses of mild antidepressants that did more harm than good for five years, I found a psychiatrist who actually paid attention to my symptoms and began treating me for Bipolar II Disorder with low doses of lithium and Prozac to start.

Previous pdocs have rushed me in and out of their offices as quickly as possible, cancelled on me multiple times, fell asleep and took calls during appointments, were late for no reason, and generally paid no mind to anything I was telling them, so I was thrilled (as thrilled as one can be when getting a BPII dx) that I was actually being heard. The doctor is a member of a psych practice and said that the front desk would set me up with a therapist that I would see weekly in addition to my medication treatment.

I met the therapist last week and we had a good introductory session where I told her about my family history, my own reasons for coming, and that I was wary of therapy because previous psychologists had treated me poorly/didn't bother to care about what I was telling them so I'd have to repeat lengthy, pivotal stories every week. I also told her that I had strong suicidal ideations as a result of my disorder + being improperly medicated (hey, Effexor!) and she said that "everyone does, it's human," which I felt was very dismissive.

She said that she didn't like to stay late, but she would if I needed to make appointments in the evening (I thought that was tacky because it made me feel bad to ask for an appointment at 6:45 and made me feel like she'd be sitting there counting down the minutes each time because she wanted to go home). I had everything set up for an evening appointment today but had to change to a morning option she had also given me, which I did 6 days in advance of today's scheduled appointment.

I got to the office a few minutes in advance of our 9:30 appointment and it was completely locked. I knocked and waited, and went to another floor of the building where their main reception desk is and they said someone just went up to open the door. Okay, fine. I go and there's no record of me on the appointment list for today, which I thought nothing of because the time had been changed. After waiting a few minutes, and the therapist not arriving, the receptionist called her and she said she forgot all about my appointment and wanted to speak to me. She apologized but I didn't care. I just hung up on her out of anger.

I can't even PAY someone to listen to me talk about my problems. They set me up with someone else for next week (they seemed shocked that I didn't want to stay with the same one) but I have no faith. I also talked briefly with a psychiatrist in the practice today about some side effects I'm having from lithium and he tried to make jokes about my therapist forgetting about me. He tried to pull the "everyone's human" card, which I told him would not fly because it's unconscionable to simply not show up for an appointment.

I will be filing a complaint against this therapist with my state licensing board. Do I have to let her know that this has been done? What recourse do I have when I literally even pay someone to listen to me. I'm 28 years old and completely giving up on ever feeling better beyond what meds can do.

I'd appreciate some actual advice and ways to feel better instead of posts telling me to forgive my therapist and listen to her side of things. I am not concerned about HER feelings, since she can't even be bothered to get out of bed for me; I am concerned about my own mental health.