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I can sooooo relate to this. Most of the time I feel like a fraud, purely because I cannot be true to myself due to others expectations, or the expectations I have of myself. For my family I wear a mask. For my daughter, as soon as I let down the mask she starts worring and I am inundated with cards telling me that she hopes I get better soon. Makes me feel like s***. The mask I wear for my wife, that is more an emotional one, to shield her from the darkness and pain. She can tell when I am not right, but she has very little idea just how not right I am. I think it is the loving thing to do.
With those around me, you just know they don't want to even try to get it. The mask for them is just to get them to accept me. Most know that I have bipolar, and that allows me a certain level of freedom. But again, they have absolutely no idea of who the real me is. All they see is "he's feeling a little down". They don't see the depth of the pain or what I actually feel like doing. I guess in that sense the mask is a protection for me.
But, do I feel I ever get to be the real me, only on PC
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