What happened to you - and what has been happening to you, is horrible. But don't give up on yourself. There are good psychiatrists and good therapists out there. It is really bad that you've run into a slew of them, but I promise you that there are good ones.

My first therapist did a lot of damage to me. Dismissive, condescending, critical, withholding, just didn't 'get it.' When I finally made the move to get a new therapist, of course it would take a little while to figure out how I felt about the relationship. But I was very raw, still in a lot of pain from the damage I carried with me. So with my new therapist, I'd only seen her a few times. She set another appointment with me for the following week. I showed up, and she was not there. I waited, and as each minute passed I was increasingly dissolving into a hurting puddle. After about 15 min. and summoning all the courage I could, I called her on her cell phone. I was scared to death - anticipated being told I was wrong about the appointment, etc. But, when I finally got it out that I thought we had an apt., I could hear it in her voice - she was just stunned. She remembered. And she felt terrible. She apologized profousely and told me that if I still wanted to see her (as in if I wasn't so upset that I wanted to quit), that my next session would be at no cost. I decided to see her again. When we met the next week, she again apologized. At some point later in time, it came up again and she noted that doing that kind of thing is one of the cardinal sins for therapists to commit. I told her that in contrast, her reaction to my call actually did me a lot of good, because it was so opposite of what I was afraid of hearing - so opposite of what my toxic therapist would have said.

Just wanted to share that experience with you.