Good luck to anyone in a relationship with a personality disordered male. A couple years ago I checked off almost all the criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder. I hurt SO many decent people- friends, girlfriends. You name it, I did it. I cheated, I broke hearts, I lied, I stirred the pot. I tore people apart, ripped open their wounds and poured vinegar on them. I would anticipate abandonment when things were going well and I'd gradually feel myself ACTUALLY come to lose attraction for someone or sometimes the paranoia would cause me to project onto them and verbally/emotionally abuse them. In addition to all that was my paranoia about being found out as bipolar. I'd go into relationships fearing the day she would see the medication bottles or witness me hypomanic and wonder why I'm so uppity... The problem is the double whammy of BP and BPD. When triggered now, my BPD symptoms come out. I'm not as bad as before but I'm a very difficult person to those closest to me. And the thing I want most is closeness, and to let down this guard because I'm tired of looking over my shoulder. I'm tired of striking first so they don't abandon me. I'm tired of destroying anyone that loves me. I'm tired of being like this. I just wish I had a different type of pathology.