you've told us what you don't like about him - his passion for music. But , unless I missed it, I don't think you've told us if there is a passion that you have or aspect that gives him difficulty (please don't feel you need to tell us what that may be).

My ex husband had a passion for drama that approached obsessive. When he was prepping for or appearing in a play it was as though the family didn't exist and I was a single parent. It was definitely unhealthy and ultimately one of the reasons I had for leaving him. In his case his pastime became a way to ignore everything and everyone else in his life. Those he would be acting with would become his new best friends and questionable friendships with female cast members became the norm. Once a play would end he would basically go through a grieving period then all would be normal again - until a new production came around.

Is your BF's passion actually getting in the way? When he is at a gig do you feel your relationship is on hold? Do you find yourself and your relationship threatened in any way by the other bandmates. What about the people he plays to? What is perhaps threatening by that.

Do you feel your relationship is on hold each time he is at a gig?

These are things that pop into my mind that I wonder if you have asked yourself. Perhaps you have and you haven't been very satisfied by the answer.