I had a rough night but today has been more manageable. I still don't know what is going to happen but at least I feel the same today as I did yesterday which is better than feeling worse. I'm just so very tired all the time. Tomorrow is going to be rough because I have to get up earlier to see my therapist. Then I have to go to Walmart because I was given a script for hydroxyzine in the hospital and for some reason it is $19 cheaper at Walmart and my insurance doesn't cover it. The idea of Walmart makes me want to curl up in a ball and sob. But I'll survive it.

I think that much of this is the fact that this has been going on for 8 months and I went to the hospital and still feel lousy, worse than before all the med changes. Which the pdoc said to expect but he certainly wasn't kidding.

I would be fine going back but I need to know I need to do that. I'm not getting a clear idea and that is what is so hard--not knowing. I'm very bad at delaying going as long as I can and this time I don't think it's the best thing to delay if I need it.

I just don't know. Tomorrow my therapist will and that will take care of that day.