Hey Disparaissant! I hope your are doing okay today.
I'm actually crying right now after reading your post. Not because it made me sad, but because it reminds me so much of my mom.
I wish I could have known at a younger age what she fighting. How much pain she was in. How strong she was.
But as a child, you don't understand fully what someone is going through. It wasn't until I was around 23 or so that she finally let me in. She had told me about how she had been suicidal for years. About her abuse as a child and the emotional scars my abusive father had left.
I want so bad to hug you and tell you all of the things that I told her!
You are beautiful. Inside and out.
You are strong.
You are wise.
YOU ARE WORTH WHILE!
I always dreaded the day when my mom would no longer be with me. And unfortunately that day came last year. I was absolutely devastated! I still am. And always will be. Just like your son would be if he lost you.
No one ever deserves to be torn down the way your ex is tearing you down. But please know that his words, his actions, are a reflection of him! Not you!
Because remember... you are beautiful, strong, wise and 100% worth while!