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I agree with everything you have said Lola. But what I was trying to say and perhaps didn't word it too well, was that even with my bipolar, my bipolar life now is not what it was 2 years ago. It is worse. My drive it to get back what I have lost, because I 'think' it is reasonable to get back to where I was.
That goal maybe unreasonable, hence the reference to pushing and testing the boundaries....I have not worked out what is reasonable and what is not. Once I find out, then the contentment will come
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