Taonuviel -- I am very concerned for you. As recently as a little more than a week ago, everything you write described me. It was like some evil spirit had taken over my body, so I knew what I was supposed to do and yet could not move to do it.
1. Have you tried using any of the exercises in Psychological Self-Help (available online,
www.mentalhelp.org) or Dr. Burn's Feeling Good or Feeling Good Handbook. (The first helped me for a while, the second I was too far gone by the time I bought the books.)
2. Does the physician prescribing meds really, really know how you are feeling? If this physician is as unavailable as you stated in a previous post, I don't care if he is the Grand Poobah of expertise, you need someone who is responsive as well.
3. Are you seeing a therapist?
4. Are any family or friends or roommates available who have made suggestions about what you should do? My maxim is: If hear the same advice 2-3 times, it's time to prick up my ears and think strongly about taking that advice.
5. How can we help you? How can you help yourself?