Chris:

I'm healing up nicely, thanks. Well atleast I think. Didn't know it was going to hurt this long! And I have to have more work done on Wednesday. UGH.

Yeah, running was the coping method that I loved the most. I'm finally fighting that urge and I think that's why finally I was medicated.

I don't have a therapist right now, but I'm going to get a referral so I can get me one. I know I need one. I think I'd like to have one that my husband and I could go together too. He has alot of issues from his childhood.

Your home life as a child reminds me of mine. Our house looked all cozy. My dad and stepmom and four kids, always nice things. Door closed tight. But I was always a wreck. My mother abandoned me and I dealt with that on my own, well really , as a child by not dealing with it. It was like something in my gut all the time eating at me. We were pretty much slave labor. We went to school and I believe in giving children chores to do, but we did all the housework, including laundry from age 5. I used to love staying the night with friends. I hated staying at home.

I could definitely relate to that. I just wanted to be by myself.

Music is a big thing for me too. And I like everything. Classical to Heavy Metal. I'll listen to some rap music and spiritual music, but mostly I prefer the rock or the classical. (Strange huh?)and you're right, being able to burn CD's is much better than listening to the radio, for one thing, no commercials! LOL. But I like to hear what's new ya know and with our only good rock station getting cut out it's still bothering me. Though the classic country is cool, I still want my station back!

I got bad news the other day. My aunt had my grandparents call me, she's in the hospital. My mother's sister, she's schizophrenic, but is very very sick right now physically. She wanted me to call her and I just knew it was a "just in case I die" conversation and it kinda freaked me out but I realize that my reaction to it all was way less than what it should be. I guess I still dissociate. She has been in the hospital for 12 days and they're thinking another month. She told me she has been hard on her body. She's 42. Years of street drugs and alcohol to self medicate. Poor dear. Now she has adult asthma and blood clots on the brain causing mini-strokes and bowel obstructions. And then to top it off she gave me bad news about my Grandpa. I hated to hear it all but you know, I just couldn't NOT call. what if something happened ? But it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

And that bothers me....

Ok..I just got way off topic but haven't really posted since I had surgery so..I apologize if any of this is triggering !

(((Hugs))) and take care of you!
Kimberly.