I am in therapy... working on my problems and try to be responsible and deal with it. I thought that he was open and available in the beginning.
I know that the music itself can't really be the problem. Sure, I don't love the techno/underground scene, but I don't know why I should feel so frightened and abandoned as I do. It is also more something like you described with your ex partner, rcat. I feel like the music and gigs are an excuse for him to behave however cold and distant he wants and to ignore our relationship. So they became a symbol for my pain or something like that. Sometimes it feels like he is messing with my mind because he uses things I told him against me. I feel like I am trapped in some game which I don't understand, and this is driving me crazy.
I like doing yoga and read books and hang out with friends. I don't really have a clue what could bother him so much about me.