Quote:
Originally Posted by littleowl2006
I am in therapy...  working on my problems and try to be responsible and deal with it. I thought that he was open and available in the beginning.
I know that the music itself can't really be the problem. Sure, I don't love the techno/underground scene, but I don't know why I should feel so frightened and abandoned as I do. It is also more something like you described with your ex partner, rcat. I feel like the music and gigs are an excuse for him to behave however cold and distant he wants and to ignore our relationship. So they became a symbol for my pain or something like that. Sometimes it feels like he is messing with my mind because he uses things I told him against me. I feel like I am trapped in some game which I don't understand, and this is driving me crazy.
I like doing yoga and read books and hang out with friends. I don't really have a clue what could bother him so much about me. |
I don't think it is the music hobby that makes you feel frightened and abandoned
. It is your gut feeling telling you that he is not fully there 100%. It didn't have to be music, it could be anything. I was uncomfortable and frightened with men's hobbies not because I am needy, not at all.
But because they were emotionally unavailable and not considerate and their hobbies were just yet another thing
Yes their hobbies became symbols of my pain. And his hobby is symbolizes for you what is missing in this relationship
Also men I've been with were usually obsessed with their hobbies, not just enjoying them. Just like my dad.
There is a difference
I am glad you are in therapy please talk about it with your t.
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