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My therapist told me she thought I had both traits of schizoid personality disorder and traits of schizoaffective disorder..after discovering what they are, I asked myself in what way does my condition differentiate from that of the negative and positive symptoms of schizophrenia. Could you please help me understand this(I stopped going to that therapist, I moved to another city, and don't feel much desire to contact her to ask his)? One of the things I don't understand about this diagnosis is what traits I have of bipolar disorder. I don't have mood swings. I don't feel euphoric. I don't feel depressed. I don't feel anything at all, most of the time, though I used to be a very emotional and empathetic individual. Now everything is indifferent to me, except trying to hide how indifferent I've become to everything and everybody, including my two friends and family. I recently lost a member of my family, who I much loved, and I couldn't feel emotions, as though I too were already dead. I've been isolating myself more and more in the past 12 years - I'm 27 now - and direct contact with others - especially if it involves communication - is unbearable to me. I don't feel pleasure in anything - except drinking and smoking - or any worthy motivation to exist, other than the feeling of guilt that arises when I plan to cease to do so. I've stopped medication a few months ago(antipsychotics and antidepressants) because I was gaining so much weight, and I would then get paranoid that others all around me were silently reproaching me for it.
I've had several delusions, one of which lasted 4 years(erotomanic, involving a radio speaker), and visual hallucinations, from time to time. I spent the last month talking to myself, saying the same things over and over and walking up and down my flat for no apparent reason. I get very obsessive, from time to time. I registered on this site in the hope that I might meet others who I can understand and who can understand me. Sorry if my english is not perfect. I hope somebody will find the time and the will to reply. Thank you.
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