So- The consensus seems to be that it is OK, with boundaries and openness. That if it bothers one side of the relationship- that is to be respected and ended. All of which i think is fair. It is the gray areas, the unspoken fears between both in the RL that I worry more about. Does it build or damage the trust in a RL..?

He is German: he is really honest. He is extremely loyal once in a RL - he prides himself on this. And he is alittle bit younger then me, and never before had a serious RL of this magnitude.

I still wonder: Is it ok to have friendships when i know that the guy had a crush on me and said suggestive things? But that i would NEVER in a million years find him attractive, and my BF knows it too..? I told guy friend the only way we can be friends-- is if he respects my RL. I wonder if this is all too big of a risk? What if he pushes ?
And then, what if a female friend of BF found him attractive? (im sure they do...) does that mean he can not be friends w/ her.. Just b/c she didn't say anything suggestive ?? :/

Sometimes I think its a matter of fairness, and if im being honest: I guess I like the attention alittle. I am sure that is why my BF always gravitated towards his female circle- he loves him some attention. I think it is natural. He is not an A-hole, its just part of who he is, he is a good, hard working, driven man who is happy with monogamy. (the total opposite of my Ex!) Says he has nothing to hide, texts, pics, facebook- all mine to peruse if i feel the need. That he wants a future w/ me, to grow old together- etc....

~~

There was one time early on when we were casually dating, he went away w/ his brother. They picked up 2 chicks, mostly he was his bro's wingman.. and he told me about it right away.. that nothing came of it b/c he was thinking of me...and realized he really liked me. I couldn't say much b/c we were not technically dating. I guess props to him for telling me.

He had dated around when he first came to the US, and I knew he kept in touch w/ some of them, some he really liked allot but didn't work out for whatever... but they kept in touch, he met one of them for dinner when visiting friends. Again, he told me about it and that it was a quick catch up dinner. And most of the time he said he talked about me. I actually believe him.

I wonder also, if Europeans are more open to this kind of thing. Altho- I have also had 'flings' with females..once my marriage was ending. I was a bit experimental. He knows my past and tendencies... and how I was not so trusting of dudes for awhile

I will talk more with him... I feel sometimes there is a double standard. It is OK for him to meet up w/ so and so claiming "networking"..... or prior "GF's" but for me, there always seems to be a problem w/ guys. (he is fine w/ me having female friends, even FWB.. we even had an agreement if i wanted to go there again it is fine, within boundaries)

It is really a subjective topic i think. And i bet that this kind of open-ness is not for everyone.

:S

Maybe i just need to try hanging w/ one of my male friends and see what happens, how I feel now, and if it seems messy at all, end it quickly.