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My issue is: Is it ok to have friendships when i know that the guy had a crush on me? (and expressed it to me, and asks me how my RL is going ..) But that i would NEVER in a million years find him attractive, and my BF knows it too.
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I would say that could be very risky. It wouldn't be a risk I would take.
As regards your boyfriend and other women I would say it's up to you to define what 'exclusivity' means to you both, and indeed if you want exclusivity in your relationship.
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the vibes i get are sometimes there is a double standard. It is OK for him to meet up w/ so and so claiming "networking"..... or prior "friends" ... but for me, there always seems to be a problem w/ guys. (however, he is fine w/ me having female friends, even FWB!!! )
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It sounds like you need to discuss that with him, what are his reasons for differing expectations of you?