Hi Tiamat.

I can empathize with you for being emotionally numb. I am also. For me it came from my mother and other caregivers giving little or no emotional input as I grew up. ? But as you can feel caring and emotion. Even with the anonymity of the computer screen is encouraging. Perhaps you do need therapy to enable you to express emotion.
You could do a kind of visualization seeing yourself express that emotion with people. And perhaps doing that over and over again for a while would help.
If you have difficulty in getting SSI it is best to hire a lawyer experienced in that area who takes on the case on a no fee basis, and gets a cut of your lump sum which is backdated to the date of application.
I am sorry, some of your family members of fallen victim to drugs. Please God they will recover.

I really feel that you should print out your email as it accurately describes your condition and then give it to your therapist. As this would overcome the difficulty of describing it to him.
There is Nami the organization for the mentally ill which you can Google. They run peer to peer support groups, and that will give you the opportunity to make new friends. Giving your email to your therapist will better enable him to give you the help you need. Have you got good medication? I hope and pray everything does get much better for you soon. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis