hi Tij

I am sorry that things are so difficult for you. Getting the right antidepressant can be just a matter of trial and error till the right one is identified. Benzo's and tranquilizers, like Xanax are good for anxiety. But antidepressants do help also. But what would help more would be getting really good therapy for it. CBT is quite good and adapted for all conditions. Then there is the acceptance and commitment therapy, which I use. Self-help literature on these is available from the public library or Amazon. That would allow you to get skilled up on coping strategies to manage symptoms. Certainly keeping your mind occupied doing things, especially enjoyable ones does take the focus away from feeling bad.
There is Nami the organization for the mentally ill and googling them and phoning them will allow you to find out what services they have in your area. They do run Peer to peer support groups. Also there is WRAP which most states do run. This is an eight week two hour course which enables people to construct their own wellness plan for keeping well. I hope and pray everything does get better for you. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis