I know I don't post much around here, but I feel terrible and just need to ramble. I'm back in a bad space again. Almost a year ago I was hospitalized, I thought at this point I'd be doing better, but I feel just as bad, just as hopeless if not more so. I've realized I'm too broken to fix and that I'll never be better, I'll never have a meaningful life. I'll never be a good person. I feel so sad and alone and hopeless. I go to therapy, I take meds, I do what I'm supposed to, but it doesn't seem to matter. I'm struggling to find a reason to keep trying at this point. blaaaah