You know, I just realized today, after reflecting on why those amends didn't work. An update: the girl who accepted my apology ended up turning it around on me and making me feel horrible. She still has the same tendencies she had that led to our friendship ending.

She caused so much drama for me in college. She was engaged to her best friend of five years and cheated on him with three people. She got two of those people to fight each other. She strung along another guy and had him white knight for her. She got too close to me and her fiance got mad and gave me dirty looks of jealousy and anger. At that point I told her I need to cut her off because I don't want drama. Who knows what she told her fiance about me at the time that got him angry at me, I was only her platonic friend. For a whole year she spread rumors about me and hated me for laying down a boundary with her. People I didn't even know gave me dirty looks. For refusing to be sucked into her drama and circle of lovers. When we made up junior year, she had already cheated on him and led to plenty of drama between her lovers. She divulged info to me that she had a history in high school and suffered from issues.

One of her ex's friends is one of my friends and he warned me about her. He told me how she would manipulate her ex to apologizing for things he didn't even do. And how she would cheat on him left and right. He told me she's crazy, and I trusted his word so I kept boundaries with this girl. But she told me so much intimate info and I eventually opened up to her about my own issues and she and I got closer. Then one of the guys who got into a fight over her came to me and told me he's very hurt and wants to "teach her a lesson". I warned her to avoid him, told her what he told me, and told her to keep her friends with her. She didn't listen, in fact she took it non-chalantly. He ended up stalking her, breaking into her room and getting aggressive. By this time she had broken up with her fiance, or so she told everyone.

She finally a week later went to campus police and asked me and another guy to come with her and fill out witness forms. I was not a witness, so I didn't fill one out but me and the other guy talked to the officer. The officer told us that she has a boyfriend and that his advice is for both of us to keep a distance. So we did, but the girl asked me to stay at the police station with her until her mom picked her up. So I did. I told her she's too nice and needs to lay boundaries or people will hurt her and that she almost got raped. She didn't listen to any of that, instead focused on "you're too nice" and thought I was hitting on her. She started getting flirty. At this point I was almost throwing up in my mouth.

Her mother came and she asked me to tell her mother what happened. I did- told her that some guy who was obsessed with her broke into her room and got violent, that she could have gotten abused or raped. The mother looked at both of us, let out a really bizarre laugh and rolled her eyes at her daughter. I was shocked at how wrong all this was. I ended my friendship with her a couple weeks later because of this.

Fast forward, senior year. I had bottomed out in my depression and tried to commit suicide. Ended up in the hospital miraculously resuscitated. I made amends who whoever I hurt because I just got a second chance at life. I talked to her and told her what happened. Her and I ended up going out that summer, we made out (I know, this is a cluster****). A month later she was up to her usual hot and cold, manipulative shenanigans and I was coming off a medication and feeling extremely depressed and delusional. I wanted someone to help, and I reached out to her and she was up to her usual ********. I was disgusted and felt used, that I had been there for her through all her drama and here she is ignoring me when I needed her. So I send her the most vitriolic friendship ending text ever and told her I knew how crazy she was in high school and how she had hurt me so much during college and that I'm sure she's got a personality disorder. I then blocked her because I don't want to hear her ****, I knew she'd flip it around on me somehow and I'd be on my knees apologizing. Pathetic.

4 years later, this week, I tried to make amends and she flipped it around telling me that I ended my friendship with her and she cared for me and didn't do anything to warrant it. She was upset that I didn't remember much of what had happened at first and that I insinuated that we both played a part in it. She is oblivious to the drama she causes and people she hurts, and when people get back at her, she acts like they were the ones with the problem.

I have problems, I know. But sometimes it's best to not even try to make amends with some people. I've come a long way from who I was in college and this girl still seems to have the same issues.