well, i got away for at least a few days and it felt so freeing.
some people i have talked to keep saying that to move without a plan would just be running away, and i shouldnt...
however, i know that i need to go, i just dont know how. i had another falling out with someone. it had to happen. i feel free for the first time in years, in having these falling outs with people... but it still sucks and there is no way to start over where i am.
i will just have to start taking the ferry to get outside help, for the time being... and doing things on the other side of the ferry... will be a huge pain in the *** and hard to get motivated to get help when it takes so long to get there... but i will have to do it.

i dont know. i wish i could better explain but its a long story. this had to happen, this blow up and losing friends, but it still sucks. it sucks in a place where i cant get away without an hour of traveling...

hopefully figure it out soon. i am still away, wish i could stay, but my cat is at home and i had a falling out with the person taking care of him. gotta get away...

ugh, why cant life be easy for a change? it is better than it used to be, but just as hard, if not harder...