Acceptance is the answer to all your problems...something I learned about 5 years before you were born in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous...AA Big Book pgs 448-449 in 4th edition.....416-417 in 5th edition. You should read it if you ever get a chance. Sometimes in life the only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how we use them...I too have PTSD and Repressed Memory Syndrome due to Rape Trauma Syndrome as a result each one causing the next...it takes a long time and you may or may not fully recover but you will learn to live with the symptoms and life will become managable.