you're right.. there really isn't a point to doing this.

well, this makes me very sad

It all makes me doubly sad because i came here tonight to ask a question... something got triggered for me, and i was going to ask what i should do, or rather how to approach it with him as i am not quite there in trusting him yet. But that's not relevant. If there is nothing he can do then i am left with no way to handle this.

i never expected him to "fix" me. But having him as a guide was important to me and my sense of safety right now. He seemed ok with that... but this is not ok?

you know.. one reason he has not pushed or come too close too quickly is that he knows my history of intense suicidal ideation and other destructive behaviours. having him as a guide helped keep me back from that.

if he can't be a guide to me in times when i am at risk then i have nothing and no one.