I feel the need to apologize but as many of you know it can be impossible to maintain an even keel when you are in the middle of a meltdown.

I am in a very bad place right now and I feel totally alone and useless. It's no wonder that nobody wants to be around me which is usually fine with me. But I guess I expected to find more of a connection with people on PC but even here I feel alienated. What is wrong with me that I push people away without even realizing it?

I took some extra meds and got lets of hugs from my wife, I even cried for the first time in years. I don't know really why I feel so rejected by everyone but I am working on it. I will be going to my doctor soon for some med adjustments.