i dont know if it is about being bored really. myself, i sense a longing. seeing the scars, the implements. it calls out and it is a difficult call not to answer. it promises a sense of peace and who doesnt want that? the problem is we become complacent in our coping skills and answer that call. then we feel the regret and shame. when we hear that call, we have to jump on our skills and use them, think about the outcome so that we dont do it. Again, i think it is complaceny, not boredom. take care and dont be so hard on yourself.