Maybe discuss this "stock pile" thing with your T.
I had done something similar back in 2000, after I was stabilized and agreed to follow treatment, I handed them over to my former T.
I understand everyone is different and meds/therapy may affect people differently, but it is within your best interest to expose this to your T.
For me, stockpiling was like this weird "security blanket" with the feeling, "just in case", sort of thing.
It all changed after I realized I wanted to continue to live, regardless of what I should be dealt, I guess I can look back now and see where I was and now how far I have come. I've learned to never give up faith within myself, and if I should start to falter, I get in touch with my pdoc to help stave off any potential episodes.
Hope this offered some insight to what you may be feeling, and I hope you'll feel free to come and hang out at PC when you wish to talk to someone or offer support.
Please take care,
DE