Hi guys...
I've been gone for what feels like forever. Things haven't been great, just busy. Moved to a different city and things were new and exciting there for a while but now it's all covered in that grey smoke yet it's all quite clear. Things were OK for a little bit. Again, I think the excitement of a new place helped, but this place is whack!!! As soon as we moved here, we were met with some resistance. I overcame it and we got through it... time and time again... until now! Now, I can't deal any more and it's all tumbling down!!
We moved from the beach to the backwoods (I know some people love that, I tried... apparently, not my thing). Moved from a 3/2 to a 1/1 - Made it work. Moved from a culturally diverse city to backwoods racist place, where little black kids called my daughter a white ***** and the bus driver was set on giving us hell! The guy installing our internet stole money from my nighstand and the company did nothing about it after I told them.... This is just the beginning. I overcame these things!
Now, I'm over it. I'm over the people... I'm over this place! I'm over struggling and I'm tired of feeling like a failure! I don't want to be here any more but I don't want to die! I can't move because this place has bled me dry and my husband refuses to sell the stupid house we moved up here because of (the 1/1... which now we rent out and have to rent a 3/2 for ourselves.... so we have a mortgage on the 1/1 we pay MORE than the rent we receive on it AND have to pay rent ourselves). I hate everything!!
The only thing that gives me a shred of joy is my kids and they're driving me crazy with their bickering.... I can't win! I can't stand myself!