Wow...Thanks everybody. I was actually thinking when i wrote this post that no one would respond. it's amazing how isolated this bipolar can make you feel. My friend with the bipolar family members...at least you're not isolated.(grin) I sort of lost it again this morning at work again. i won't bore you guys with the details. It's funny, and somewhat comforting to think, that other people are having a rough time too, that it's not because I'm some kind of bad person. We're like spinning tops, wound up a little too tight at times. What about the statistics that say that we bipolars have high intelligence? Maybe the answer is in my trying to use it to develop something at home also. This is the first time i've seriously considered that. I'm 52 next month, and even if I can push myself another 10, 15 years, i'm not sure that I want to do that to myself. Anyway, thanks again everybody. One last note: the energy that we spend trying to function at work just might be better used in a safer, less pressured endeavor. something to think about.