You guys are so awesome. I have never gotten through to the bottom of a problem like this before.
Also the difference between passion and obsession - lots of these things are just a feeling that I have but it hasn't been so clear to me before.
I have intentionally tried to be involved - went to his gigs, small talked with his friends and so on. Usually I get along with people very quickly and I am not shy ore anything. Also I know that he wants me there, but there were a few unpleasant situations when I felt let down in public by him so I don't really dare to go to these events anymore. I felt excluded somehow and it is humiliating to be hurting in front of the party people.
He often says that none of his friends are in relationships and that being a dj makes it almost impossible, but he really wants me. I love him too and appreciate the person that he is, so I am really trying to find a way to avoid a breakup. But it is actually quite clear that he cannot give me what I need right now.
The job interview went well though, despite the emotional chicken wire around the heart.
Thanks again. Your responses mean a lot <3