sorry- that's so long! I just wanted you to have a better idea of how rather than just why because I really think the things your talking about are very important to talk about because I don't think they're going to go away and keeping silent risks them getting worse and you feeling more and more isolated and harder to speak to anyone. Please don't let it get to that stage because it can lead you to a very dark place if you feel like you can't trust anyone and then can't even begin to start.