I wish I was myself ... but maybe just maybe this is the real me .... but I hope not .... How can one be genuinely happy and so quickly lose it ,

maybe the happiness was just a reaction from the catharsis of accepting my dx completely, and being so drained emotionally, a sort of restful stress free relaxed state I thought was happiness, and devil depression is still my not so welcome friend walking hand in hand with me as he has most of my resent life, ... when i was younger the loud out going man I was is now the old grumpy tired fart you see here ....