Thanks.... Yes he wants to do this for sexual gratification... I have not been turned on by the way my husband lives his life for a long time, he is a very kind, gentle man, and would never want to hurt anyone... He almost lives his life like a man on his own, but talks and convinces everyone that what he does and says is fact.... I cannot rely, or trust his word ever, this is something that I have had to come to terms with.. For example, if he says he will be half an hour (baring in mind he never wears a watch), he will be an hour and a half... If I ask if he has let the cat in, he says yes, I then later look around for the cat to find it still outside... The freezer door has been left open over night on more than one occassion, the dishwasher has had the tablet put in, but never turned on (although he swears he did), again on more than one accassion. He has five clothes draws and everyone has socks in it, he has three barns and you cannot move in them, he has lost many house keys, mobile phones, leaves keys in the car over night, he can never find anything, he leaves bank details in the car. When parking the car, he will jump out and forget to put the hand brake on, I have had to crab it.. Its goes on and on... Please understand that I do love this man and we have had many discusions on these subjects (not saying that I am perfect in any way).. He does not like being like he is and would love to be more organised... His nick name is "Good Intentions"... I suppose over the years these things have not changed and he is still as careless, which constantly worries me and makes me feel insecure.. He was bought up in the Army with a father as a bully, who also wanted his sons to be his little soldiers and that everything they did had to be strong, aggressive and manly... If my neighbour comes in for a glass of wine he will give her a tumbler not a wine glass (because men dont mind what they drink from), he told me that he knows its not correct and could be embarrassing but its not a manly to think about things like correct glasses.... I find it hard to love him in an endearing, affectionate way, which has now left us without a sex life.... Blimey thats my whole storey, needed to get it all off my chest... Does any of this make sense to anyone else... I need some understanding too... Thanks again to you all, I really welcome your comments..