I feel very confused because i have no precise idea of what is wrong with me.
I recently got out of a mental institution for children(i'm 17 years old) because of my suicidal attempt and i've been diagnosed with anxious-depressive syndrome (i have extreme social anxiety). After a week in that hospital i told the psychiatrist i couldn't stay there anymore because it drove me crazy and so he let me go. I was prescribed medication but i refused to take them, i was suspicious about it.
What is bothering me is that i don't think the psychiatrist got to the bottom of my problem (in a week there's not much you can do i guess). I first came across the term borderline at 12 i think,i did some research on the net because i thought my mom had it.Only recently i came to the conclusion that all this time i've been struggling with this personality disorder and i've been looking in the wrong places.I used to think i was bipolar but i didn't have maniac episodes. I did some borderline screening testes and i've scored high each time.What is more,i've scored high at schizotypal personality too,eating disorders,obsessive-compulsive( the extreme hand-washing thing). I looked at the schizotypal personality disorder and i read that the bordeline disorder,ocd,eating disorders, are all things a schizotypal is in range of developping along the way. I guess you'd all tell me to seek professional help but my mother wouldn't listen to me. In fact,i think she's in this constant state of denial. She refuses to talk with me about all these things,like i am all imagining it and it will pass. But it won't. And it takes up more and more of my life and i don't know what to do anymore.
*sorry for the long post