I feel the same way about being on trazadone. I only take 100mg but I need it every night or else I can't get to sleep. I don't like being dependent on a drug either.

I don't have any experience with saphris but it probably is best for you to taper off. I don't know if you can do it yourself or if you reall need a pdoc's supervision.

But also, what if it really is what's holding everything together? I know my ap is what keeps me stable. Without it I'd be in trouble.