Hey,

I noticed a scaly spot on my earlobe yesterday and am really worried it might be skin cancer.. It's been there before, I think I noticed it for the first time a few months ago. Back then, I absent-mindedly picked at it and was shocked at how much bleeding there was even though the affected area is really small..

Somehow, I managed to forget about it until it caught on my nail yesterday and again, there was a lot of bleeding. I started to examine it and it's actually really weird, I can't make out if it's a growth on top of the skin or a sore with a scab or what. I'm a hypochondriac anyway (though had been doing a lot better there for the past year..) and skin cancer's always been a real biggie on my list of things to worry about.. I've got all the risk factors, fair skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, lots of freckles, and I suffered multiple sunburns throughout my childhood.

Anyway, my head's telling me it either is or isn't cancer, I won't know until I've seen a doctor. I got an appointment for Wednesday to see a dermatologist, but now I'm wondering if I should try to get an appointment on Monday at the national health care services and just have it removed straight away.. I'll have to see how freaked out I am by then.

I just needed to share how scared I feel cos I find fear so hard to deal with on my own. One moment I'm OK, the next I remember the thing and start freaking out, reading stuff on Google until I'm crying and planning my own funeral..