i am not bpd but had a sister who was so know quite a bit about it. i have to say i am ignorant as to what the "devalued" stage is though. you dont say how long you have been with your bf or how supportive he has been, but if he is the one devaluing you, and you have a highly conflictual relationship and want to be serious about treatment, then maybe a change is in order. finding a therapist who is proficient in working with borderlines would be a great plan. look also into DBT treatment. it is a great addition to assist in that emotional regulation. you could even start now. there are some great workbooks out there. if you stay with your guy, getting him involved and educated would be a great start. take care.