Dear Pdoc

I'm thinking too much about you. I don't want that. Because when I think about you, I sometimes wonder what you could be doing now. You have a life. I won't ever be a part of your life. But it isn't that. It's that I don't have a life. My heart beats and everything, but I'm not really alive. I'm depression. Depression is all over me. I don't like anything anymore. I don't have hope. I don't have energy. I'm not close to anyone. It makes me so sad. And scared. I'm scared that I'll feel like this forever. ''They'' say that every depression ends. But when does it end? I can't go on like this for years. And I don't want that. But therapy and medication isn't helping me. And I don't know if it's ever going to work. I don't know what to do. I'm going to sessions and to your appointments, but the time in between. I feel so lonely and so much pain. How long will I be able I deal with it?