Hi all, first time here so hello to you! I am a 2 just over 2 years married and very unhappy at the moment. We row all the time and he never wants to talk about anything. We tried councilling but that was thrown back in my face as "the two of you ganging up on me!". Personally I feel that he is depressed in some way. We bought a house in November and he has no motivation to do anything. He works in a sedantary job and comes in from work 2 1/2 hrs before I do but more often than not he is in bed or in the dark playing play station. I have tried to encourage him to go for a walk as I thought that a bit of exercise may do him good but he just sees that as me trying to get him to walk the dog.

I don' t mean to go on but I am so tired of it all. He takes responsibilty for nothing. It was because of me that we have a house etc. It needs a lot done to it but it is me who does all the jobs. He plays his computer games while I sand and varnish floors etc. It just seems to be nag nag nag from me and I just don't want to be like that. I tried talking to him to tell him how much stress and preassure I feel I am under (I have IBS now and suffer from slight depression) and asked that he e.g. take responsibilty for the car. He agreed but it was all talk and no action. I still have to ensure that the insurance etc is paid as he just will not do it. A brake light is out for the last 3 months and he still has not changed it. Its a simple job as I have done it in the past but he just does not care.

Last night things came to a bit of head and I suppose that is why I am reaching out to ask someone what should I do. I came in from work late due to the trains and even though it was a really hot day all the windows in the house were closed and he was in bed.... again. I decided that I was not going to get mad as it gets you no where. I did a few things about the place and made a cup of tea. I was just about to sit down (in the door an hour and had not had the chance to relax for even a minute) and he arrives downstairs takes the remote for the TV and settles in. I lost the rag a bit because I was just about to sit and watch a programme and he would not let me. I started to give out about the state of the house and his answer was to grab a bottle of water and hurl it at me and then throw me to the floor. He then slammed out and I did not speak to him all evening. When he came home he slept in the spare room. I feel so so sad!

When I get in this evening now events will go any way. I may come in and he will pretend as is most often the case that there is nothing wrong. He will not talk because as far as he is concerened I am just "mad"... I should go and get some pills and sort myself out or he will not talk for days.

All I ever wanted in our relationship was to have a laugh with my best friend but it is like living with someone who loaths and hates me. He refuses to come to do any socialising with me at all..... not even a walk on the beach once a week. At a recent wedding of one of my friends where I was bridesmaid and he arrieved to the church drunk and we had to leave the event early and he does not know why I was upset!

I just feel that I am all on my own with all of the stresses and preassures that go with house buying and generally getting on with day to day stuff. It is like living with a bold 12 yr old who is only happy when getting his own way and doing his own thing and after that the rest of the world is just a load of bull. Did I mention that if I say black he will say white just to disagree. He really has a bad atitiude towards everything and can only ever see the negative.

I am sorry for going on but I just don't seem to have anyone to talk to. I don't want people to develop a view on account of what I say as after all there are two sides to the story but I feel I am breaking up inside and no one cares least of all my husband and so where does that leave me?

Well thanks for listening.... nearly in tears now but not much point in that!

Purplestar