have to go to a new T tomorrow...very nervous...very scared....

so much going on lately....dealing with being hospitalized two weeks ago, my fairly brutal SI-ing, going to my for exam and admitting what i'd done to myself, worry about losing my job - which is inevitable, wondering how i will pay my bills, not being able to stop SI-ing....

i'm so tired right now...i barely slept in two days...i think i need sleep now...

i want to hide from the world...