Yeah, I've always had issues with feeling ashamed of not being able to orgasm easily (that was before him) and he's used to girls who orgasm with I guess little to no effort. In the beginning he'd barely touch me and would be constantly asking if I'm about to orgasm. So this "wall" is likely made out of a lot of guilt.

There's especially a lot of guilt if he were to go down on me. I feel guilty that I might be making him do something he doesn't like (although he says he likes it a lot more now) and I'm too much of a jerk to even orgasm from it.

And there's a time issue. We're both full time doctoral students so we really don't have that much time as it is. But if there's something we need to go to in a couple hours or whatever or if there's a TV show coming on in a couple hours that he really wants to watch etc., then I panic about how long I'm going to take. It doesn't take me as long if there isn't a time limit usually.

We've also had issues with keeping him engaged. I mean, he has to orgasm first (if he had to wait on me, I'd hate myself so much and it would really ruin sex, besides he will ejaculate during foreplay anyway sometimes) and I realize it's harder for a guy to stay engaged after orgasming. He has done better after I've pointed that out to him.

And then there's the issue of teaching him how to touch me…honestly, touching me directly doesn't really work. At least that's not how I touch myself. I usually use the outer labia to offset the sensitivity a bit or even just wear underwear. And I strongly prefer to be on my stomach because that's how I always masturbated before I met him. But he just physically can't figure out how to do it…I don't know if it's the Aspergers or the cerebral palsy or something else completely.

And after the last time he needed a lot of space and almost cut me off completely, I have a harder time trusting him being affectionate. He's warm towards me now but at what point am I going to do something wrong and he's going to turn cold? I've already told him that I have a harder time trusting him and feeling comfortable around him, but that I also feel like the trust could be rebuilt. I only lost trust because I'm very sensitive to abandonment and have separation anxiety as it is. Logically, he really did need the space so it's not like he did something wrong (although, arguably, I think he went about it the wrong way which we have now discussed)

In my case (and it may be because it's still relatively early in the relationship), I don't think it's a lack of passion. He really tries hard throughout the relationship. There's more of a difficulty that neither of us have experience in serious relationships or much sexual experience. And we're also stressed and worried about finances now and after we graduate. And we're both stressed and afraid about hurting each other. I do know my anxiety and my envy cause problems and then I feel badly for days that I hurt him because of it. Or I'm worried that he's going to abandon me because he doesn't have the patience to wait around while I try to become a better person (I am in therapy and really do want to get better, but it does take time obviously). There's always the fear that the next thing I say or do is going to make him leave. I'm almost afraid to express emotions because I always express them in the wrong way. Like I wish I could hide how I really feel sometimes and fake the appropriate emotion like it seems everyone else can.