Yeah, I started with my insurance list and with a list of T's on psychology today who take my insurance but none of them were able or willing to see me so now I only have people to choose from who do NOT take my insurance. And even those people I don't really like! Not to mention I can't afford to pay weekly out of pocket either, so I haven't yet figured out what I'm going to do! I can afford to pay out of pocket temporarily, but if my T is not coming back, I need to find someone else. That's why it's so hard to move on! If I knew she was not coming back I would immediately stop seeing the "okay" T and begin the search for someone better and stop wasting my money on "okay" T. But I don't want to stop seeing "okay" T without any other plan in place because I am not doing well and am afraid of being without any options. I am also SO busy with work and find the process of searching so emotionally draining that I don't want to put myself through that again unless I absolutely have to. Hearing so many rejections from T's in the last weeks has been pretty damaging when I'm already feeling fragile.