My moods have been cycling around from depression to content and back to depression or sometimes I go through depression and then I feel content. I usually wake up depressed in the morning and then when I get my day going I feel better. If I get out of my house I feel a lot better. I think I feel terrible at home because I have so much idle time to think about my life and I get depressed. On August 14th my psychiatrist had a stroke. He was 70 years old. I had a severe nervous breakdown on November 28th 2014 because of severe depression for four years, for smoking a lot of weed(4-6 times a day), usually an ounce of weed a week, anxiety, depression from ex-girlfriends. I was also in an abusive relationship when I was 18, I’m 22 now. I was extremely paranoid to the point that I thought people were going to kill me for weeks. My mom found me a psychiatrist back in December 2014 and I went to him and thought he was a drug lord or part of a huge gang. Basically I got extremely paranoid and that led to hospitalization, the paranoia wasn’t the main reason I went to the hospital. It didn’t lead me to hospitalization, the intrusive thoughts did. I currently am not seeing a psychiatrist right now, I am seeing two psychologists but I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on September 16th which I am really excited about. Do you guys ever have balanced moods? Like feeling normal for a long time? Basically not any depression.