Welcome to PC



I'm the daughter of one. I'm in the painted black category.

You've found a place to vent and work through what you're dealing with.

Seems that you have your reasons for staying. If validation that what you're living through is due to NPD, some of the characteristics listed do sound familiar. Could there be underlying co-morbidity? I sometimes question manic moments with my own father. Mind you, I'm an adult writing. It's not that I am completely in the black, but there's certainly a level of disconnect with old wounds. With him, there's no such thing as an apology. It's almost as though he'll create an 'alibi' to cover himself without any accusations given. I believe the narcissistic wound goes beyond the fact that he was born with a birth defect. It seems that, such an early childhood experience was compounded by whatever was going on within his homelife and feeling a certain lack of pride and/or love from his father, and maybe even within his family. I don't believe that his mother was capable of offsetting whatever experience was necessary to compensate for that wound. I mention his experience as perhaps insight as you come to grasp the wholeness of your husband and his illness.